Small Things
by berseker25
Summary: Foggy brings sweetness to his life.


1.

Foggy tends to forget about him when he's drunk. About leading him, that is. He lets go of his arm and turns to look at his face and almost sort of dances around him, talking talking talking, a blur of sound and laughter that seems to be everywhere.

Maybe deep down he knows Matt doesn't need it – maybe a small part of him saw through the lie, saw a glimpse of some sort of something – maybe he knows, deep down.

Maybe he's just too drunk.

(he does it when he's sober, too, so)

Matt tends to hold him tighter, when he's drunk. He searches for him, turns like a freaking sunflower which is dumb because it's not like he needs to make eye contact, but he does, he tries to keep him in sight and searches for his arm so he can hold on to something. Maybe deep down he knows he likes it – maybe a small part of him takes pleasure in it, not in let himself be led, but in having something – someone – to hold onto.

(he does it when he's sober too, he stumbles and this one time he hit a wall to provide a small reminder or just grabs his arm, so) 

2.

Foggy brings sweetness to his life. Yeah.

It takes Matt a while to settle on a word, and this one sounds silly because they are usually talking about girls (or their childhoods or dreams and hopes and traumas and death and justice and-) but there's this glow, this bright little thing that burns and burns and burns, and it's so sweet. It's all sweet. It's light and delicate. It's a candle flame. A firefly. It's fragile. It could end any minute.

It's so sweet.

He's charmed from the start, when Foggy starts what's going to be the friendship of

a lifetime with an awkward line about sight, which Matt doesn't mind, and an apology, which he kinda does mind, but the line wasn't mean and the apology wasn't meant, Foggy is genuinely pleased and Matt is enchanted.

He says people treat him like glass and he doesn't like it much. He talks about the accident. He does his best to explain what drunk-while-blind feels like. He talks about dad and fighting and girlfriends. He lies only when he has to.

So does Foggy. Too bad his lies are all stuff like saying he's too tired when he's actually just not in the mood to study, that he didn't drink too much when he obviously did, that he didn't like that girl anyway, it was just talk, really, that it's ok if Matt asks her out.

Matt doesn't ask her out. But he wishes Foggy would get a proper secret. Something terrible that he can forgive, just to balance things out. 

3.

He knows they shouldn't have this conversation when he's half dead and Foggy just found out the truth, but then, why the hell not. He won't handle it any better later, it won't hurt any less after a week, so. They do this now.

And it goes so, so bad, Foggy leaves in tears and leaves him in tears and it's all so fucking bad. He knew this was fragile. Porcelain that could be broken. A tiny light that could go out. Matt knew he would ruin it.

And he can't believe how much it hurts. 

4.

Matt doesn't go after people. When they leave, they leave.

It's one of the reasons why his relationships tend to last less than a week. When it inevitably falls apart he sucks it up and moves on.

He lets them go. He didn't follow Claire. He doesn't follow Foggy. He won't follow Karen when she decides enough is enough.

Foggy comes after him. Hunts him down, basically, finds him at the gym, and Matt thinks they'll fight again. Then he thinks they'll talk about Fisk. Then he thinks they'll talk about endings, you know, make it official. I wish we could go back, we can't, see you never.

They talk about starting over.

He's not sure how that happened. Foggy opens up, builds the space he needs to say what seems to be the right words, gives him the chance to do something and save this precious thing he's so afraid of losing, and he does and it works.

It works. They leave the gym together.

Matt holds his arm. He tells himself it's for the officer's benefit, just so he won't get suspicious. Foggy didn't offer it, because he thinks Matt doesn't need it.

(he's so, so wrong about that)

He doesn't let go when they leave the precinct. 

5.

Foggy goes on a rant about cured meat and cheese. It's random and silly. And light. And sweet.

Matt laughs for the first time in days.


End file.
